Daily Archives: February 5, 2010

Is it Bad for You?

Question:

i read this message from a girl that sent you this a while ago and she said that she masturbates everynight and i was wondering if that she does that everynight doesnt it get addicting and then she will loose concentration in her studies if she masturbates all the time and she will only focus on that? also is masturbating good or bad for you and why do people buy expensive toys to get pleasure cuz all they are really doing is wasting money when sometimes they dont even work?

Phyllis replied:

 

Well, there are 24  hours in a day, and she said she masturbates every night, not in the morning, during class, at lunch, in the afternoon and after dinner.  When hormones start kicking in during the teen years, some teens feel sexually aroused a lot, and masturbation releases tension.  I don’t think  she is going to get addicted to something so natural, unless it starts taking the place of friendships and socializing and homework and studying, and I doubt very much that it will.  As for sex toys, everyone is different.  Some people undoubtedly think they are helpful, others don’t.

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Should I Talk to his Girlfriend?

Question:

Hi Phyllis…I’ve emailed you once before. (: Just finished Dangerously Alice. So excited to read Alice Alone. So I need some advice. I just moved to Florida from Indiana. My dad got a job at a church with his BEST FRIEND. They have been friends since they were little boys like 8 years old. They both have kids now…and his buddy has 3 sons. One of them which is my age. Now this son that is my age was so kind to introduce and get me settled in the youth but he has a girlfriend. She has some crazzy Idea I want to “steal him” What ever. ANyway….when I am over at his house and he is at mine he is so sweet. When I am at church and around his big group of friends he acts like he doesnt know who I am…and wont even make eye contact with me. I dont want this to turn into a mini novel;) but I have just recently decided maybe I should talk to him in a mature matter about how he acts around his friends and how he treats me. What should I say? Do you think it would make the friendship awkward at all? Also…do you think it would be a good or bad idea to talk to his girfriend and tell her I don’t like him and that I want her to know? Thanks so much.

Phyllis replied:

 

 

You’re new to the crowd, so I would go slow.  I would not talk to the girlfriend about her suspicions unless she says something in your presence or one of her girlfriends asks you about the guy.  To indicate that you know she’s jealous, even if she is, will make her more angry, as though you really are a threat.  Chances are the boy avoids you to stop all rumors, if there are any, that you two have a relationship going.  If you say something at all to the guy about this, I’d do it in a teasing, offhand manner.  And I would be careful not to pass glances toward the guy when he’s around his friends, especially the girlfriend.  Try to hang around other kids, be friendly to everyone, and eventually you’ll find a place to fit in.

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Filed under Fan Mail