Should I Talk to his Girlfriend?


Hi Phyllis…I’ve emailed you once before. (: Just finished Dangerously Alice. So excited to read Alice Alone. So I need some advice. I just moved to Florida from Indiana. My dad got a job at a church with his BEST FRIEND. They have been friends since they were little boys like 8 years old. They both have kids now…and his buddy has 3 sons. One of them which is my age. Now this son that is my age was so kind to introduce and get me settled in the youth but he has a girlfriend. She has some crazzy Idea I want to “steal him” What ever. ANyway….when I am over at his house and he is at mine he is so sweet. When I am at church and around his big group of friends he acts like he doesnt know who I am…and wont even make eye contact with me. I dont want this to turn into a mini novel;) but I have just recently decided maybe I should talk to him in a mature matter about how he acts around his friends and how he treats me. What should I say? Do you think it would make the friendship awkward at all? Also…do you think it would be a good or bad idea to talk to his girfriend and tell her I don’t like him and that I want her to know? Thanks so much.

Phyllis replied:



You’re new to the crowd, so I would go slow.  I would not talk to the girlfriend about her suspicions unless she says something in your presence or one of her girlfriends asks you about the guy.  To indicate that you know she’s jealous, even if she is, will make her more angry, as though you really are a threat.  Chances are the boy avoids you to stop all rumors, if there are any, that you two have a relationship going.  If you say something at all to the guy about this, I’d do it in a teasing, offhand manner.  And I would be careful not to pass glances toward the guy when he’s around his friends, especially the girlfriend.  Try to hang around other kids, be friendly to everyone, and eventually you’ll find a place to fit in.

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