Cutting Myself

Hi! I’ve never written to u before, but i do have a question, and who else to ask but my fave author ever!?
Well, i was dating this boy who was 17 and i was 14. he only wanted me for sex, but i didnt know that until he dumped me when i refused to have sex with him. now i am very depressed becazuse i really liked him alot and i didnt kno he just wanted to use me. I have even started cutting myself with siscors, and it sucks. what should i do?


Phyllis replied:


Well, stop cutting yourself, for one.  Why, after you’ve suffered one trauma, do you hurt yourself even more?  Did you ever hear of “being your own best friend?”  I know you really liked this guy, but frankly, if I found out a guy had dumped me because I wouldn’t have sex, I would have congratulated myself for standing up for ME, and taken myself to the movies.  Here’s the thing:  when you show you respect yourself and you have the self confidence to do it, word gets around.  Sure, some of the other guys who find out about it will save themselves the trouble of going out with you too.  But there are always going to be people who are attracted to you for that very reason.  Every time you act in a manner that isn’t really “you,” just to be popular or get someone to like you, you are also turning off people you don’t even know about who would like you better as you are.

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