Monthly Archives: August 2010

Liked It Even More than the Last One

Question:

I’m going to be a sophmore in the fall and I remember reading your books for the longest time and loving them. I’ve read every single one. I’ve cried and laughed. Then in Intensely Alice I cried so hard when —-died I cried so much because of what happened and knowing that accidents like that happen all the time. I thought that this was your best one and then Alice in Charge came out and I read that one and loved it even more than the last one. You are by far my favorite author and I hope that you continue with the Alice Books because reading these help me through the hard times I have had.

Phyllis replied:

I so appreciate your telling me this.  Makes it all worthwhile.

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Fan Mail

I Want Lots of Friends

Question:

My best friend is really awesome. Let’s call her Joy. We have sooo much fun together, and I love hanging out with her. Problem is, she’s not the prettiest, or skinniest of people, and she tends to give off a bad vibe to people who don’t know her very well. Well I’m in highschool, and people are always telling me, ‘You know, you could be pretty cool if you stopped hanging out with Joy. And started hanging with us.’ and if i’m texting Joy, the few other friends that I have will say, ‘Why are you texting her?’ Well, while everyone in highschool is trying to grow up so fast, me and Joy can still jump into a river without worrying about our hair. I want to have lots of friends too, though, and I really am giving the wrong impression on people by hanging out with her. I don’t know what to do. Should I ditch Joy and start hanging with people that could make me ‘popular’ or should I stay with my best friend?
P.S. Your Alice books are fantastic!

Phyllis replied:

Joy is your best friend and you’d give up on her because she’s not pretty and is overweight?   You’re beginning to set your standards for life, remember–not that you can’t change–but there will be times you would give anything for a good and faithful friend, no matter how she looks.  Of course you want lots of friends.  That’s natural.  But remember there are other people watching you who will be comforted by the fact that they don’t have to be perfect or beautiful or handsome to be your friend.  You don’t have to include Joy in everything you do. You’re entitled to go some places with some friends and not others.   To people who suggest you give up on her to be cool, you might just say, “Hey, I’m a “39 flavors” when it comes to friends.  Keeps life interesting.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Fan Mail

Juvenile Teasing

Question:
let’s jump straight to the point. yes I know it”s me again but let’s just straight to the point. okay, so my, slightly weird, friends and i were at a football game and during halftime two  of my friends (let’s call them mary and macy) started wrestling. it ended up mary on the ground and macy kneeling on top of her. another one of my friends just had to scream “look at mary and macy!!!!” so now everyone is calling mary and macy “lesbian”. they’re crying and sad 24/7 and i need to help make them feel better. any ideas?
Phyllis  replied:
 
Maybe you need some more mature friends?  Or maybe you can be the mature one here and figure out why you and your friends seem to be so fixated on gays and lesbians.  When something like this happens, why not just say, “Oh, grow up, guys.”  Being overly apologetic, however, makes it sound as though being called lesbian was a terrible insult.  Somebody needs to simply tell those girls that you were being both rude and childish, and then invite them to go somewhere or do something with you that proves they are part of the group, not girls–of whatever sexual orientation–to be either taunted or pitied.

Leave a comment

Filed under Fan Mail

Getting a Cell Phone

Question:
I have a lot to say and I hope nobody is bored with my writing but i need some help and i don’t really want to talk to anyone else. Here goes: to be “popular” at my school you need to have a cell phone. And I don’t have one. The only people (boys and girls) in the grade without a cell phone are me and ONE of my friends. Lately, people have started calling us the “cellphone-less two” It makes me so mad at them. I feel left out. People will call out to each other “Text me tonight!” or “Call me on my cell!”But, the other side of my story. I’m turning thirteen soon and I really do need a cell phone. I’m spending more time away from home (sports practice, over at a friends house, at youth group at church, at choir practice, at a birthday party) and my mom isn’t constantly with me anymore. My friend is sick and tired of me using up the minutes on her phone to call my mom. The question almost always on my mind is “Will I EVER get one??” One time when a friend stayed over at my house and brought her cell phone, I overheard my parents talking about it. “She’s even younger than our daughter and she has a cell phone!” “I know, it’s just to young for a kid to have this kind of technology. And the cost! If our children had one, think of the money we’re trying to save!” But that WAS a while ago. I want to talk to my mom about myself needing a cell phone but I’m just not confident enough. I’m scared to. I don’t know why. I’m scared of what she’ll think of me and what she’ll tell my dad, I guess. But I can’t see a reasonable reason why I’m scared. I just am. I hope you’ll have a bit of advice. This has been keeping me up at night I think about it so much. I know what you might be thinking. “Kids these days! So much technology that we never had and we managed without! This girl is so…” BUt don’t think that. Thank you so much for your help
Phyllis replied:
 
First question:  Do you NEED a cell phone, or just want one to be popular?  I can think of many instances where it is helpful to have a cell phone, and if it would really be useful–not just a way to keep in touch with friends, as important as that is–then this is perhaps your biggest selling point.  When you go to an event, for example, do your parents ask you to call when you’re ready to be picked up?  If so, this is your opportunity to tell them that it’s not fair to your friends that you are using up minutes on their cell phones.  Do some research:  there are cell phones that have limited minutes, and there are plans have basic rates for basic service.  Find out what an inexpensive phone would cost and what a basic plan would be.  Present this to your mother, with the understanding that if you lose your phone, or drop it in the toilet, or otherwise are careless with it, you will go without, or will pay for it yourself.  It’s possible that your parents don’t know what a less expensive plan would be, but I don’t think it would involve much texting.

Leave a comment

Filed under Fan Mail

Super Cute

 

Question:

  I’m in a real situation here. My two best guy friends have gotten super cute over the summer. Usually I wouldn’t complain, but this is different. I relized that I like both of them, but I don’t want to! I just want to be their best friends! What should I do? 
 

Phyllis replied:

 

Seriously?  And the problem is…..?   What you’re telling me, I guess, is that you’re feeling romantic toward them now, and you’d rather just stay best friends?  Well, if you don’t want romance to enter the equation, then keep everything on the non-flirtatious level.  No lingering glances, no touching, no knowing smiles, etc.  But best friends can become bf/gf you know, and lots of couples married their best friends.  Perhaps the bigger question you are asking is that if you become romantically involved with one, how do you decide which, and once you decide, what happens to the other guy?  If I were you I’d keep to the best friend routine until you feel an overwhelming desire to make it something more.

Leave a comment

Filed under Fan Mail

It Was Just a Joke

Question:
Hello! I have a boy question! I bet you havent heard that one before! Not! Ha ha…anyway I really need some guy advice from an outside perspective. The situation is there is this guy named Lucas. He was my friends friend. we had a couple of encounters, no big deal. but me and my friend thought he was really cute. so one day he was walking with his friends, and they are all big tall muscular guys, and he was talking about watching ellen degeneres.For some reason me and my friend heard and we could not stop laughing at the irony of this muscular guy watching that. so we told all of our friends the story and then whenever someone brought him up wed go ELLEN! to us it wa just funny buthe found out and now he thinks we’re freaks. What can i possibly do to make him think I am not a freak? It really bugs me, proabably more than it should because of the fact that he’s cute, plus that he hangs out with my friend alll the time and now its awkward if im with her at school and he is there too. it was just a joke but he thinks we stalk him now, haha. Please give me adive…..I’m also kind of scared to approach him so if there is someway I can do this gently please tell me because I am intimidated and at a complete loss.
Phyllis replied:
 
 
Well, let’s start off by admitting that it was low-grade humor and childish, because:  1) You were implying that only gay people like ELLEN  2) That the most important thing about  Ellen is that she is gay 3) And that if this guy is gay, muscular or not, it’s weird.   So you and your friends probably seem both childish and not very bright about this particular subject.  That said, what to do, because all of us, myself included, have said and done stupid things that we regret.  And unfortunately, about the only thing you can do is not repeat your mistake.  If I were you, I would immediately stop all the silliness and be as mature as I naturally could while I was around this guy.  I would talk about other subjects, stop the staring or giggling or anything else that you might have been doing, and then…if you ever get into a comfortable conversation with him, you might just apologize, very briefly, for being completely silly and out of line, and then change the subject.

Leave a comment

Filed under Fan Mail

Got Right in my Car and Drove to Borders

Question:
I’m going into my sophmore year in college right now, and I’ve been reading the Alice books since I was in middle school. Today I realized that “Alice In Charge” came out a few months ago. I’m completely unashamed to say that I got right into my car, drove to the nearest Borders, bought it, and read it in a space of a few hours. (I may have even sneaked a peek at the first page while sitting at a stoplight.)
 
I just hope you realize how much people care about your books. You’re doing something very, very right.
 
Phyllis replied:
 
You really made my day, and it’s been a rough week.   Thanks so much for writing!

Leave a comment

Filed under Fan Mail