Not Sure I Can be Happy Without Him

As of now I am in a long distance college relationship with my boyfriend of 6 months. He lives 800 miles away and we are separated by state lines, so I’m only able to see him once every 1-2 months. We’re both eighteen and serious about each other, however, since we left for separate colleges I have become extremely depressed at his absence. I don’t want to leave him, though I do believe that I care more for him than he does for me. I’m just getting a little tired of crying all the time and getting uncaring and lifeless responses from him. I do my very best to make him happy but it’s hard to do when I receive nothing out of it. Everything is great when we’re together at home, but we’ll be separated for the majority of the next four years. I just want to be happy, but I’m not sure if I can achieve that without him in my life. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Phyllis replied:
Do you really want an uncaring and lifeless boyfriend in your life?  That’s far more depressing to me than being single and available to someone who could really love you.  And who wants a boyfriend for whom you have to try hard all the time to please?   If things are great when he’s home and you’re together, what do you two talk about?  Can you tell him how you feel?  Find out how he views the relationship?  If I were in your place I’d suggest we take a break from each other for a while and see how we feel about things.  His response to this may tell you all you need to know.  But to do this, you need to like yourself; you need the confidence that you are likeable and that other men can like you.  It would be very helpful if you could talk things over with a counselor there at your college.  You need some perspective about your relationship and some insight into why you want to stick with a guy who can’t or won’t  return your affection when he’s away.

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