Dear Phyllis, I want to ask your opinion on something. I'm almost 19 and I'm dating a guy who lives and attends college in another state. My spring break is coming up and I'd love to fly there to visit him. I'd stay with a girl friend there and pay for my own ticket. However, my parents have forbid me from going to see him at college. They think it's trashy for me to go visit him and that it would create a reputation. They only approve of him visiting me. Their views seem old fashioned to me but I'm not sure how to change their minds. Any input would be greatly appreciated!!
I doubt that I will change your parents’ minds, but I don’t think it’s trashy at all. You’ve been dating this guy, you obviously like him and your parents do too or they wouldn’t object to his visiting you. Has he invited you or agreed with your going there? In this modern world we base things not on male/female so much, but who can best afford it? Who has the best schedule to work it in? Whose turn is it? Frankly, I can think of a number of things you could do if he visited you that might ruin your reputation, but your simply going there and staying with a girlfriend is not one of them.