He Just Wants to Make Out and Stuff

I love your books and how I can relate to them so much. I am a freshman and have recently went through a difficult breakup. Reading ‘Alice Alone’ definitly offered some consolation to me since she was in the same situtaion. I am looking for some advice at the moment: I have always been told that I look and act older for my age. Along with that I have liked older guys for as long as I can remember. Not very much older, but enough to make a difference. I have hung out with this boy who just recently turned 18. I just turned 15 and we have gone on some dates and kissed plenty of times. He says he doesn’t want to offically be ‘boyfriend/girlfriend’ or anything because of the age difference but he still wants to makeout and hang out and stuff. I really like him and though i do want a relasionship with him, i can understand where he’s coming from. Do you think it is wrong to just be friends with him and kiss him without actually going out?
Phyllis replied:
I don’t think it’s “wrong” to just kiss and stuff without going out, but what might be happening here is simply an older guy getting his kicks from making out with a younger girl who’s still feeling vulnerable from a breakup.  You say you’ve been “out on dates” a few times with him, but you’re not actually “going out.”  Is what you’re telling me that you want an official title?  You want to be known as his girlfriend?  Or are you saying that now you and he don’t do anything but get together to kiss and make out?   There’s a difference.  If he treats you well, but is honest about wanting to date other girls too and not be tied down to being anyone’s boyfriend, then he’s being fair with you, if you are agreeable to this.  But if he took you out on dates just to get to the point where all he has to contribute to the relationship now is getting together to make out, he doesn’t sound like he’s good for you, however much you may want a guy in your life right now.  

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