Stabbed in the Back and the Heart

Question:
 
Ive always been a fan of the Alice books. Recently I have related most to Alice in the Alice, Penny, Patrick love triangle. My boyfriend “Patrick” and i broke up a few months ago but recently began reconnecting. However, one of my good friends “Penny” all of a sudden developed a crush on him and began flirting with him like CRAZY. I ended up asking him if we can give our relationship another try but he told me he didnt want to deal with another long distance relationship. What hurts most is I found out about a week later he ends us asking “Penny” to be his girlfriend. I was crushed because not only did she ever come to talk to me about how she felt about him (she tells my best friend), but here he is telling e he doesnt want another long distance relationship, even though she and i are going to the same school next year. I just dont know how i should feel about either of them. I feel like Ive been stabbed in both the heart and the back.  I’m sorry it happened, but a new school year is about to begin.  Life is full of surprises.
 
 
Question:
 
Well, yes you have been.  And sometimes these things just happen.  There was a sort of lull in your relationship with your boyfriend.  And it sounds as though even while you were reconnecting, you weren’t exactly a couple again, and meanwhile the guy was more or less on his own, and your friend tested the air and realized he was still looking around, and….and it happened.  He fell for her, she fell for him, and how exactly do you go about telling your former girlfriend–and possibly on-again girlfriend–that meanwhile you found someone else attractive?  And how does your friend, feeling that she was attracted to him and that you two weren’t quite a couple yet, tell you that now she likes him?  It’s not easy for any of the three.  Although it sounds as though the polite thing to do is come to you and say they want you to be the first to know that they like each other, it’s not that easy or simple at all, when they both have known you, one as a girlfriend, and the other a friend.  About all I can say is that some day you very well may find yourself in a similar situation…a girlfriend of yours is dating a guy whom you also think is attractive and nice, and then you find out they broke up, and your feelings increase, and he seems interested too, and then…you discover his former girlfriend wants him back.  It’s so hard.  But remember this: when you want a guy back, you want him to come because he wants to, not because he feels obligated, or thinks it’s unfair of him to like someone else.  There’s only one reason for a guy and girl to become a couple, and that’s because each of them willingly wants it that way. 

Leave a comment

Filed under Fan Mail

Comments are closed.