He’s married with children

Hi Mrs. Naylor, I’m writing to you because I have a problem and don’t know who to talk to to get sound advice. I’m 19 and have worked in the same restaurant for awhile now, and there’s this guy that I’ve been talking to there for a few months now and I do like him– but it’s a work thing; it would be totally inappropriate to take that outside of work since he’s in his 30s, married and has children that aren’t that much younger than me! which is why I was more than a little surprised when he asked me out and gave me his phone number. I didn’t say anything yet but I know that I absolutely cannot go there. I admit I was probably enjoying the attention he gave me a little too much. I want to mention his marriage too because I’m pretty sure he is. I don’t know what to do when I see him next. I just don’t want things to be weird since I do like him but just cannot go out with him since I won’t be an accomplice to cheating. How can I handle this in the best way possible? thanks for taking time to read this. I’ve been reading the Alice series since I was 12 and have grown up with them, and you always manage to write what I’m trying to say perfectly.

Phyllis replied:


It’s difficult sometimes to keep that line between just enjoying the male/female banter and flirting.  The easiest most honest thing would be to just tell him you don’t go out with married guys, but I can imagine him telling you that they haven’t had a good marriage, or they’re separated, or divorced.   I think I would tell him that if he were your age and definitely single, you’d be tempted, but “Let’s just keep it friends, because I really do enjoy working with you,” or something to that effect.  And then keep to it.

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