Daily Archives: October 25, 2011

Is He Leading me on?

Question:

Whenever I feel like something isn’t right, or whenever I feel like I’m alone, I always turn to your Alice books. Everything about her comforts me and just lifts me up. I have so many boy problems it’s not even funny. I’m in 8th grade and there is this boy who is just confusing me. About a year ago I met this guy, and one of my friends really really liked him, and my two other friends liked him as well. But not as much as this one friend. Because of them, I was hanging out with him quite a lot, and he developed feelings for me, knowing that out of the four of us, I was the one who didn’t like him that way. I’m going to sound conceited, but I know I’m attractive, but so was my friend who really liked him. Anyway he’s fifteen and in High School now and I hadn’t seen for him at least eight months. I didn’t really miss him, my friend moved on and has been dating this guy she is really into. I was at the High School’s football game two or three weeks ago and I saw him, and me and my friends were like…what happened. He was so cute. He was never ugly, but now he was CUTE. He hung out with us a little bit that night, and flirted with me a lot but then was gone. But two days ago I went to another game and he was there again, and do you know how many people asked if were dating. I was just walking with him when he grabbed my hand, not just in a friendly I’m going to pull you over here kind of way, but actually intertwining our fingers and holding on tight kind of way. The whole night went on like this, he had his arm around me the whole night, and then we were just standing there in a group of people, and I kind of let my head rest on his shoulder and his hand was caressing my arm and it was just a really intimate moment. And he’s been texting me all weekend. But here’s my question, am I being led on? We go to different schools since he’s in High School and he’s two years older and I just can’t tell. Next time I see him should I ask him if we’re actually going anywhere? I don’t want to tell him to stop because every time I think of him, my stomach gets fluttery and I just smile. I’m just really confused.

 

Phyllis replied:

It’s simply too early to tell.  It’s obvious he’s attracted to you and you’re attracted to him.  But I think guys wish that girls wouldn’t try to label relationships the minute they take hold.  Who really knows this soon?  Not even him, probably.  He may have been going with a girl at his school, and then you came along.  He could be open to a relationship but wants to make sure how you feel about him first, and is taking it slow.  He might really enjoy seeing you at games, but doesn’t want to get into dating for various reasons–his schedule may already be tight, he’s short of money, no car, etc. etc.  Please just enjoy the back-and-forth and flirting that you’re doing right now and wait to see how things work out. 

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