Scared about pregnancy

Question #1:

I have two questions to ask you (reading the Alice books in Please Don’t Be True kind of set them off!!)
1. It seems like Pam’s miscarriage wasn’t a big deal. I don’t get how they happen though. So she went to the bathroom and bled, and that was it? Isn’t the baby still inside her though? So confusing.

Phyllis replied:

Early in a pregnancy, the miscarriage may not be more than a lot of bleeding into the toilet, with perhaps clumps of blood or a little tissue, so that the woman knows this is more than just a “little bleeding,” and can well suspect a miscarriage.  Later on, when the baby is much larger, she would definitely expel something that appeared to be a fetus.  I’m not a doctor, remember, but in the first few months of pregnancy, the first few weeks in particular, there is not much to see, and the miscarriage would look like clumps of blood. 

Question # 2. About birth control, I am still paranoid that even on pills and using condoms (2 methods), I will still get pregnant. These TV shows and my mom telling me stories scare me. Am I overly paranoid? Should I not worry?  


Phyllis replied:

 It would be very, very unlikely for you to get pregnant using both kinds of birth control, I would imagine.  Nothing is 100%, of course, and the woman could forget she had skipped a day, and the condom could be defective.  If you are all this worried, however, I would think that intercourse would be rather miserable for you, and wonder, if you are unmarried, why you are taking this chance if you worry so much?  Mothers do tend to scare their daughters because they don’t want to see them become pregnant before they are ready to be mothers themselves.  But a big advantage of being married when you have sex is that your baby is likely to be welcomed if you become pregnant or, if an unplanned pregnancy, at least supported, we hope, by the husband.  Your fear of getting pregnant, however, is something you should be able to talk over with your boyfriend.


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